We’ve all made fun of people sitting across the table from each other, looking at their phones and tablets instead of at the person right in front of them. Sometimes we talk to each other across the table though our phones! My wife and I have had public and (hopefully) humorous conversations on FaceBook while sitting a few feet from each other in the same room.

Meanwhile, in the adventures of the pseudosciences, an interesting proposition rises with stiffened resolve to take notice of post-modern maladaptive behaviors. With a turgid state of insistence, the unrelenting willfulness for actors in the social mainstream to act in stupid ways invites the speculation of the Wiener Theory. What is a wiener? More than a frankfurter or a Vienna sausage? Simply a hot dog? Actually much more than that, as the Wiener Theory is summoned to confront the rapid spread of social stupidity.