Close to 60% of young adults lack confidence in themselves for a number reasons.  20% of college age women have eating disorders. All of these awful statistics fall in that category of feeling like they do not measure up. This is common for young adults, however the long term affects of low self esteem can be very bad. No measuring up to society…family or friends can be dangerous. I felt it would just might be helpful to share a personal story that has the outcome we all hope to achieve.

Most if his life he felt he was not measuring up. Well, his childhood often made him feel that way. He grew up second fiddle to an older brother who was an overachiever. Northwestern Grad…..excellent baseball player….started at Carleton College….even got a try out with the cubs and later had a successful career as an attorney. However, what is overachieving? Isn’t it different for each person? Well, the story goes on and many years of believing his good work was not great. A mom and dad that often put him down even when he might have been succeeding. Some how his success was perceived as nothing for anyone to get excited about. 

Highschool ended and he went to one of the more liberal schools in the country. The fabric of being a Wisconsin Badger allowed him to open up…not be stopped….make life long friends and not be judged……and nobody cared about measuring up. From undergrad and onto law school he knew what he wanted and knew how to get there. However, even with a plan he felt he was not measuring up. He was – he just didn’t know it.

Law school was not just education but a way to where he just might get approval from his brother….his parents…and have his achievements ratified. This was his way of measuring up.  Well, as life would see it, he finished the bar exam. He took the bar….failed…took it again….failed…and now was on his third try. Perhaps this was embarrassing to his father or others, however he didn’t let these challenges affect him to pass it on the third try. Oh….he did..he also passed his CPA and that he did on the first try. However, he still did not measure up.

A few years in the IRS and onto working for his brother. Several years of success..trying many cases cases and now the almighty making partner with his brother was what he had yearned for. His brother decided to not make him partner and he opted to take the high road. This created tension among brothers, but was also what it took to understand he was in fact measuring up.

He went off on his own and after years of being a sole practitioner and yes, his career lifted…the landing strip had plenty of room and nothing in his path. He was fiercely loyal to his family…..his friends….and yes to his parents and brother who often put him down. He loved them the same regardless, but he had measured up. Perhaps they could not see how he defied the odds. However, I did…..so did my mom….so did my sisters……he was just my dad being dad. 

You measured up…..set an example with out having to prove anything to any of us. You were our father….mom’s husband and we were proud of you for you being you. You have no idea how much you measured up dad.