By Caroline Brandt  December 02, 2022

Picture this: You’re responding to some emails at your favorite local coffee shop when you catch the eye of a beautiful woman who just walked in. You are so enthralled by her that you find it challenging to continue to focus on what you were working on. While you feel the urge to strike up a conversation, how can you get her attention?

1. Before approaching, study her body language

First and foremost, ensure the woman you’d like to have a conversation with isn’t in a rush, distracted, or simply not in the mood to converse with a stranger. This can be the case from time to time, so don’t take it personally if she politely declines any of your advances. Consider the environment you’re in before approaching her. If you’re at a coffee shop and she’s in line on her phone with what seems to be a work bag on her shoulder, she may be in a rush to get to work and therefore not be open to conversation. Similarly, if she’s avoiding eye contact and standing with a closed stance (turned away from you or arms crossed), these are good indicators that she’s not interested in a conversation. This helpful chart is a good tool to reference when determining if the woman you’re interested in is feeling approachable or not. If most signs point to yes, go ahead and make your move by trying some of the suggestions below!

2. Start with a simple “Hello!”

The easiest way to approach any person is by offering a simple greeting. A smile and a nod, a wave, a “Hi, how’s it going?” or “Good morning!” are all friendly ways to approach a woman and gauge her interest before deciding to engage in further conversation. Remember to be mindful of her body language. If she appears open to conversing, be sure to have a few “go-to” topics handy to keep the discussion flowing. You could further the conversation by commenting on the weather, asking if she comes here often, or inquiring about her plans for the day. Here’s what to say when approaching a woman that will pique her interest.

3. Ask to share a space

One way to approach a woman in a common area is to ask to share a space with her, such as a table at a coffee shop or a seat on public transportation. If the area you’re in is crowded, asking permission to share a space with her is courteous, and she will appreciate the respectful gesture. However, she may not appreciate sharing a spot if there are many empty seats or tables, so consider one of our other approaches if this is the case.

4. Make small talk

While small talk may not be your favorite thing to do, engaging in small talk with a woman can lead to more interesting conversation. Whether you’re in line at a coffee shop, out with friends at a bar, or anywhere you might have the opportunity to converse with a woman who catches your eye, don’t let the opportunity pass you by. Comment on the weather, the day of the week (especially if it’s Friday), or the surroundings with a smile! You’ll find yourself shifting into a deeper conversation before you know it.

5. Give her a genuine compliment

Who doesn’t love to hear nice words from someone else? Women love receiving compliments as long as they’re well-intentioned and appropriate.Our recommendation is to stick to non-physical attributes such as her accessories like a purse, jewelry, or shoes, or the smell of her perfume. “I have to know what perfume you’re wearing. It smells lovely!” or “Your sweater is such a beautiful shade of blue. It really compliments your eye color!” will make her smile, and invite a conversation on where those items are from.

6. Ask a question that pertains to a hobby

Perhaps you’re at the gym, a tennis court, or even a local dog park when you notice a beautiful woman with inviting body language is there enjoying her time. Replace the cliche “Come here often?” one-liner with, “Do you need someone to spot you?”, “Would you like to play doubles?”, or “Your dog is so cute. What is his/her name?” By having a shared interest, you already have a conversation starter, and you can get to know each other without engaging in small talk!

7. Notice any similarities you share

Approaching a woman about something you have in common is a great conversation starter. Perhaps she’s sporting spirit wear from where you went to college or your favorite sports team. You could comment on your shared interest with a friendly, “Roll Tide! Did you see that win last weekend?” By establishing a common interest with a woman, you’re more likely to share a lasting conversation and a deeper connection.

8. Be a gentleman

You should always be a gentleman and practice chivalry in any scenario. Hold the door open for her and others passing by, or offer to let her get in front of you in line at the coffee shop if she seems to be in a rush. Being polite and a gentleman with a smile will open the opportunity for a further conversation.

Conclusion on what to say when approaching a woman

Whether you start with small talk, give a genuine compliment, comment on a shared similarity, or any other suggestion we shared today, you can rest assured that you are going into the situation prepared after reading our tips. Make sure that you exhibit open body language as well so that you are showing others that you are also open to a conversation. You never know when *you* will be the one who is getting approached!

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