by Folabomi Femi-Jemilohun October 16, 2021

If you’re a young person, you’re probably checking this out with a doubtful look on your face.

You’re probably thinking, what could she possibly know about my problems?

Or oh, please… she can’t possibly relate.

I can. Know why? I’m a young person, yay!

I cannot wait to grow up and not have to prove anything to these people…

Easy for you to say, you’re all grown…

Well, your generation is different from mine…

Stop comparing me to James! We don’t have the same genes! …

Any of these sound familiar?

The average youngster struggles with seemingly unrealistic expectations from other people around.

In a world where discrimination of sorts is quite unbridled, there’s always something to be ashamed of, something to hide. Youths, and other emotionally ‘immature’ people, are very much the victims of such criticism. In an attempt to fit in, or at least shield themselves from the judging eyes, they tend to hide amidst people that tend to shape their lives.

I have friends, and sometimes I reminisce over choices I’ve made concerning friendships, and I’m appalled at desperate measures I’ve taken.

There’s probably that one person you know from afar, that everybody else knows. He’s the one that chooses his own style, the innocent rebel, the one everybody wants to be known with.

You probably want to know him too. Maybe you want to do something that’ll get his attention, and maybe even get your picture up on his Instagram story.

Desperate, you go to a class party he’s sure to attend, get really drunk and the rest is history. Sure, you got his attention, along with way more than you bargained for. How do you explain to the leering eyes that all you wanted was a friend, and not to be the object of a viral scandal?

Or you wake up one morning, with this glow inside you. You feel like a champ, like anything is possible. You smile at the world around you, determined to put some good out there. You sit back, and start building air castles. You make beautiful plans, congratulate yourself when you win, and encourage yourself when there are setbacks.

You’re then shaken out of your reverie by your alarm clock signalling that it’s almost 5pm, time for your waitress interview at the bar ten blocks from your house. A whole day wasted, huh? Who do you tell your beautiful plans that need expression to?

Maybe there’s this girl your parents really like. Smart, focused, respectful, and it doesn’t hurt that she’s pretty too. They probably wish she was theirs instead of you.

Tired of the snide comments, you try to live like her. Learn all her hobbies, and drown in trying to enjoy them. You dress the way she does, customized t-shirt with snug jeans and those fancy sandals, even though you’d pick baggy shorts any day.

You change so much, you can’t even adapt properly in the environment you’re used to, and everybody around blames it on your inferiority complex. What’s next?

I, for one, have wished severally that I could rewrite the scripts. That I could change the narrative, influence my environment, and maybe not always have the bad end of the deal.

If wishes were Tesla shares, beggars would be stockholders.

Maybe the change you need isn’t about those around. Don’t roll your eyes, think about it. In trying to please others, or respect the status quo, you get lost.

How about you live for your purpose?

Discover your niche.

It may take a while to know what makes you happy or fulfilled, and even then, it may not work out, but Rome wasn’t built by just old Tylus’ first brick. Consistent effort built Rome.

Pick a lesson from that.

Till you become the best, you will have to learn, unlearn and relearn. You will have to endure criticism, constructive or otherwise. You will meet new people, and you will have to let go of some. You will have to make sacrifices, which you will consequently realize to be investments in your future.

And by the time you’re grown, you’ll relay these words to the young people around you. And help them see that trying to fit in won’t always work.

I am a young person who is willing to share my experience to help others. I can relate with most people my age in several ways, and I’m out to show them they’re not alone.

LinkedIn – Folabomi Femi-Jemilohun

Medium – zeefolabomi

https://medium.com/@zeefolabomi

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