August 8, 2019

Growing up wouldn’t have been fun if you did not have birthdays to celebrate it. Everyone gets excited about their birthdays whether they show it or not. (yes, that includes elders too). Because kids show their zest by dancing around the house and announcing in school weeks before their actual birthday, but that does not make elder any less excited. I understand that there are two types of people- one who runs around the town when it’s their birthday, and others, yet they are excited too but like to keep it low.

Talking about elders, the ladylove of your life may not show it to you, but she surely expects that you are way more excited about her birthday than she is herself. Sure, birthday comes every year, but that does not mean that wishing birthday has to be ordinary and boring. There are many fun ways to do it too. Even if your wife doesn’t like to celebrate her birthday, resist her protest and spoil her. 

I am a happily married man, and my wife is a vivacious person. And since she is so energetic, imagine her energy level on her own birthday. So, even I try not to kill her zeal, and I make sure that my wife enjoys her day to the fullest. But mind you, our way of celebration is anything but ordinary. First of all, I don’t wish her typical happy birthday; we use sarcasm in that too. Let me tell you some of the funny birthday wishes for your wife which you can use (if your wife gets along with humor). 

Warning: these quotes may not go well with dull humor, that can land you in big, big problems. 

•  “Happy birthday to my dear wife, I pray that with increasing age, you just start counting your blessings and not your wrinkles”.
• “Happy birthday, dear, don’t worry about your increasing age, at least you are not as old as you would be next year.” 
• “Hey babe, happy birthday and do not worry about your increasing age, you are still gonna do dumb shit, only a bit slower.”
• “Happy birthday my grey-haired wife, no I am not mocking your grey hair, let’s say it is just the crown of your glory.”
• “Happy birthday, oldie. Oh, do not even think to blow away the candles. At your age, we definitely would need a truckload of candles with a lorry sized cake to hold all those candles”.
• “Happy birthday sweetheart, I will love you even when your hair gets gray, and your teeth are gone, at least you have me to eat your own potions of food”. 
• “Hey babe, since you have been with me through all my thick and thin, I don’t mind giving up my life for you. But please never ask me for a physical proof, because I am not literally ready to die this soon, happy birthday”.
• “Sweetheart, you are forever mine. Will you be my wife for life and after death? Oh, wait! Is there even marriage after death?.”
• “Hey, honey, happy birthday! Oh now, do not get all worked up for wrinkles as you grow old, I will still love you because remember the marriage vows were for good or worse and that included wrinkles and pimples.”
• “Happy birthday, babe. I have made you my wife forever, that means in life and after death too. So, would you mind dying with me when my time comes? I am presuming your head is shaking negatively, right?.”
• “Hey, sweety, happy birthday! Well, your birthday reminds me of the old Chinese scholar named YOUNG NO MO!”
• “Happy birthday – So far, this is the oldest you’ve ever been!”.
• “It’s your birthday, honey, don’t let anyone call you old. If anyone does, hit them with your cane and throw your teeth at them!” 

I know, some of you must have been offended already just by reading them, but we do wish each other like this. With increasing age, people are already snowed under stress about this, so why not joke around about it. Just get them a cake delivery afterward, and everything will be forgiven. 

But, mind you, don’t joke about age if your wife is not comfortable unless you want your head to be served on the platter.