By Dr Baskaran Pillai on October 14, 2020

Good relationships are not easy to come by. They require plenty of work and effort. The upside is, if you have managed to create a strong relationship with your significant other, life becomes happier, secure, and satisfying. At the end of the day, the feeling that there is someone who has your back and who will never leave your side even if everyone else does is very uplifting. So how can one create such a strong and intimate relationship?

Here are 10 proven ways that will stand you in good stead if you wish to build such a relationship.

Talk to each other

Communication is a good lubricant. The better the communication, the deeper the relationship. Always make time to have a heart to heart chat with each other before turning in for the night. Talk about your day, the highs and lows, but also be a good listener. Deep conversations are very important for women, especially. When you make the effort to talk to your partner and listen to them, in turn, it shows how much you care.

Show appreciation

All of us seek appreciation. It’s deeply ingrained into us, this need for validation, whether at work or in a relationship. People do so much for their loved ones, without complaining and without expecting anything in return. A little appreciation, therefore, is in order. There are many ways to show appreciation for all that your partner is doing to make you happy. You can tell them directly, or even give them a thoughtful gift now and then. It need not be expensive either, for it’s the gesture that matters more.

Be open with each other

Keeping secrets is a bad idea if you want to have a good relationship. Secrets have a way of revealing themselves when you least expect it. So be open and transparent towards your partner. Encourage them to share their thoughts and feelings with you. If something is troubling you, discuss it openly instead of stewing inside. This will help you build a strong bond built on trust.

Learn from each other

It’s foolish to expect your partner to be perfect. We all have our own flaws and weaknesses. learning from your partner is one way to improve your relationship. The things that annoy us about them reflect our own character. When we understand this, we become more aware of our own failings and try to improve ourselves by changing the things that need to be changed. This will help us to become better persons, which, in turn, also benefits our relationships.

Avoid constant fights

There will always be some fighting and arguing in a relationship. But what if they happen all the time? Some couples do love to fight, as they think it makes the loving even better. But it could also mean an underlying fear of intimacy. Fights can add excitement and drama to life, but lack of true intimacy can erode the relationship eventually. So try to find out why you fight so often and seek solutions. Once you discover the real reasons, your relationship will change for the better.

Feel comfortable in your own company

Being needy is one way to chase people away from you. You don’t need to be around your partner all the time to have a good relationship. You need some time off to be by yourself and do your own thing too. People need some space in the relationship. Otherwise, it can feel suffocating and confining. It is very important to feel happy in one’s own company and not having to seek validation from one’s partner all the time. Your partner, too, will appreciate your independence and self-reliance. The truth is, we don’t really need someone else to complete us.

Learn to accept yourself

Many people think that they have to live up to an impossible ideal to please their partner. They try to change themselves in order to be more acceptable to their loved ones. While some changes can be beneficial for the relationship, there is no need to change yourself entirely to win someone’s love or keep it. That’s one sure way to lose your identity. So be yourself and love yourself, warts and all. Love is all about acceptance, and if you don’t accept yourself, why would your partner?

Break the routine

Most relationships fall into a routine after a while. But breaking the routine occasionally can spice things up, which is essential to keep the romance alive. Take off on a trip or vacation to a new place and make some new memories. Or you could take separate vacations on your own or with friends. This can give both of you some space and me-time. Absence does make the heart grow fonder, and the time apart will reinforce the intimacy between you.

Avoid over-expectation

We wish to be loved in a certain way. But the other person may have his/her own ideas about love. If you expect them to love you the way you want, you may be setting yourself up for disappointment. Being frank about your needs is one thing, but forcing your opinions on somebody is another. Meeting each other half-way is often the best solution. Expecting too much too soon and being too demanding can cause problems.

Don’t take your partner for granted

This is a very common reason for break-ups. Once we are sure of our partner’s love, we begin to take them for granted. We feel that whatever mistakes we commit, they will forgive us and that they will never stop loving us. But this is a fallacy. Some mistakes may not be worthy of being forgiven, and love is a delicate plant that needs to be nurtured. Being taken for granted is everyone’s worst nightmare, for it makes one feel that one is not valued or given due respect in a relationship. So never take your partner for granted if you want a strong relationship.

If you follow these ten principles, you have a good chance of creating a strong and intimate relationship that will last a lifetime. It also helps if there is good compatibility between your zodiac sign and your partner’s. 

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