I have been hearing a lot about being, “the Alpha Male” in terms of dating on YouTube and other places. Seemingly, all women want the Alpha Male. He is the man who everyone looks to for guidance and leadership and vision. It seems to me however, that if you want women to see you as an Alpha Male then you not only need to be a leader, but you also need to grow a beard and be at least 6’3.

It is very easy to be discouraged if you do not meet the typical physical and personality or vocational qualifications to be what women see as an Alpha Male.

Personally, I have avoided being an alpha male all my life and I don’t like the itchiness I get when letting my facial hair grow out. I am also only 5’10. Instead, I wanted to be the workhorse. I wanted to be the one who was dependable, the anchor, the one who knew what he was doing. It just suited my personality better. I did not care if people knew who I was or saw me as the leader. I just wanted a few key people to know me as their lynchpin and strong link. I still just wanted one woman to see me as such.

However, life can throw you curve balls. Being a father, I have had to lead and manage my children. This of course, has been incredibly humbling. Planning and organizing and leading this publication has also challenged me in this aspect of Alpha Male-ness. The people who have worked for me on this looked to me to be that and will continue to in our other pursuits and projects. I have had to step-up!

I want to encourage you as men that, even though we are not all called to be leaders (or to grow beards or to be at least 6’3), we all lead with out co-workers, communities, and families through our actions, words, and visions, regardless of whether we want to or not.

Jesus was speaking about leadership when he said “…Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant”. It seemed to me that servants AREN’T show-offs and want everyone to look to them. I guess it all depends on who you are trying to please in your leadership positions, who you want to show-off to. If you are looking for affirmation only from women, then you might get it by creating a facade of Alpha-Maleness, either that or they will see right through you. The same goes with other people: co-workers, employees, your family.

I am most interested in the Lord seeing it. Maybe a woman will be impressed by my leadership, maybe not. Maybe my family will be impressed by my goals, maybe not. I am not going to do it for the Lord so that I will have a bigger palace in Heaven or that I will have a higher chance of winning the lottery. I want to be faithful with what He has given me! I want to hear my father say, “Well done!”.

But we as men want women to admire us. Don’t we? We want to be the Alpha-Male in their eyes. I am not saying that is wrong. My challenge to you is to focus on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith. Focus on Him and everything else will fall into place. Women will see you leading (as opportunities present themselves) and see the depth of it, because you don’t need to show-off, you are there because the Lord wants you to be! They will see that its not a facade but that you are really the man with the plan, the leader, the visionary, the Alpha-Male!

Colossians 3:23-24 Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.

—————————————————————————–W.