Brutal Honesty

I see no honor in talking behind other people’s backs even if you have a valid reason to state what you might be stating to others. Who are any of us to judge who or what people should or should not do?? However, I find people who are insecure spend a great deal of time bad mouthing others, but spend little time on self-improvement or perhaps helping others who might in fact need help. This article was inspired by a few recent occurrences in my life. It is so important to be totally genuine….real…to the point…..and authentic. People have a much deeper appreciation for the truth up front. However, with that said most people hide from the truth and what they really should be telling the people they care about most.

Getting back to reality here I have a few quick stories to share and they show how ignorant and weak some people can really be. I was recently at an event with some friends when I was back in Chicago visiting months ago. It was super fun and a bunch of us got together who really don’t get to see each other often. I was back to my childhood brain for a few hours….acting silly….and there was someone I know talking right behind my back. It was so clear she was talking negatively about me…..I could smell her malice….and could not believe at 41 she still was doing what she did when she was 18. I personally was not offended, but shocked at how little she had changed through the years. Well, I am not one who has some solid track record to really judge anyone, but I was shocked at the infant behavior that often does not change.

I just heard the other night about someone talking about me in a negative light based on some of the stuff I write about. I have no idea what was really said or by whom…..but it was not good. However, this came from a guy who is insecure…trying to prove things to the world…..and really would be better off just being himself. When he is himself he is a pretty good guy……but showing off and proving things seems to be part of his DNA. I once felt sorry for him……but now I just pity him and anyone who talks poorly about others.

I do find honor in brutal honesty…..letting people know how you feel…..calling them out…..and letting them know precisely what is on your mind about them. There is great bravery in being brutally honest…..and it is not always easy. My father first words all the time were “you are not going to like what I have to say…..” and then I knew I was in for one thing…..THE TRUTH TO MY FACE!

We all don’t always want to talk directly to people, however you build sustaining trust with people when you are honest from the start. Talking behind ones back or bad about someone is cowardly. Anyone who does that should be ashamed of themselves and realize they are cheating honor. I used to be guilty of the crime, but today see the great benefits one will reap by talking directly to someone and not through email……or especially through others. Authenticity prevails. We all can use a little honest feedback once in awhile as a tune up. Additionally, it is important to give and receive honesty. Connecting both sides of the “honest” spectrum builds far healthier relationships.