What is a Dis? Dis is a prefix that means, ‘to set apart’. Some words that use dis are discomfort (to be apart from comfort), you have discernment (apart in understanding), and discotheque (a place that plays discs of music, apart from normal music). There are also discounters, disallowers, disrespecters, and other words that begin with dis. It is also the prefix of discipline or disciple.

Growing up in various Christian communities, I was and am constantly reminded of Matthew 28:19

Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit…

Making disciples is an integral part of the Christian faith. However, I have met many people who are, “put-off” by many churches’ expressions of that command. They feel put-off in two ways. First, they get offended because they seem to always meet someone who wants to immediately disciple them, without having a real relationship. The conversation usually goes like this, “Hi, nice to meet you and before you tell me your name, let me tell you who/what you should and should not be dating/associating with/voting for/wearing/saying/…” I have also met others who were unable to get involved in the life of the church due to the church not following through on requests to volunteer, get involved in a Bible study, or some other expression of wanting to become part of the church. The conversation usually goes like this: “Hi, my name is Tom and I would like to get involved in a Bible study or serve the church in some way. Here is my email address: tom@yahoo.com.” The reply is usually, “Sure Tim, we will sure send you some information. Zzzz.” They never send anything or follow up.

I have had both happen to me. I have been considered to be someone’s disciple when I did not even open myself up to that and I have not been able to join a Bible study even after I made multiple requests which have been forgotten or lost or something. Honestly, I do not like any of these outcomes. I don’t like being pushed into a discipling relationship I did not agree to or being disciplined by someone I barely know and I do not like being forgotten.

That does not mean that I do not need to be disciplined or discipled. I do! I was a disciple of my mentor for 25 years before he passed away. We had a relationship where he was never short of the willingness to discipline me and because we had a relationship, I was willing to listen. Sometimes, I did not like it, believe me, but I learned.

Now I realize that we are here to make disciples, it is one of the Lord’s commands. However, I think that most people prefer discipline through real relationships. Most people are so excited to make a new disciple that they forget that those disciples are also people. Who just wants someone who will tell them what to do or what not to do? They do not remember that the Lord gave us two ears and only one mouth. I realize that there is a time for just imparting information regarding the Gospel. However, to actually be discipled, it takes time and relationships.

So choose your mentor or discipliner or disciple carefully and remember that relationships take time. Even after a time there may still be boundaries or lines that may not be crossed in certain relationships. But if there is a real relationship there, then those boundaries will be communicated, understood, respected, and when crossed, forgiven.

John 13:35 By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

—————————————————————————-W.