by Ranbir

Raising teens and pre-teens is challenging in many ways, whether you are in the same country or away overseas. Teenagers today are curious, tech savvy, confident, and are highly influenced by their peers online and offline. They crave independence and at the same time, depend on adults to fix things when they go wrong and expect you to be there for them.
On your part, to keep this relationship close and to ensure that distance does not come in the way, it is important you connect with them yet give them the space and freedom. Whatever be your reason for being apart, here are a few tips you can follow, to make the long distance work better with your children.

Be attentive to payments

Teenagers are still dependent on their parents for money. They still rely on you to pay for everything from their schools, hobby classes, clothes and social outings. Make sure you have an online money transfer payment schedule in place for their school fee, so that you don’t miss a payment.
Set up a monthly allowance for them. You can get them a multi currency card for them and upload it every month so that they can use the same for their expenses. Alternatively, you could send money online to their bank account associated with yours, so that you can track the spending of your hard earned money.

Communicate

Email or text your teenage child every day, with positive messages and encouraging quotes. If you don’t hear from them, don’t panic, they may just be having a good time or could be busy. By being there for them, he or she will know to contact you when in trouble, irrespective of the time difference. Listen to him/her and try not to make strict rules for them to follow. This is a stage where you can’t enforce rules on them, or they will only end up getting ignored. Instead advise, or suggest gently.

Be consistent

Be consistent with your parental advice. Both parents need to be in harmony with their suggestions and views, at least in front of the children. You will be surprised, how children are cued on to play one against the other, to get their way.

Tech-connect

Ensure your child and you have Skype, Whatsapp, or Facebook so you can see each other through video whilst speaking. Try not to be overdramatic or overtly negative when you see their new hairdo or new style. Even if you don’t like it, remind yourself, it is a phase and smile and let it go, at least as often as you can.

Remember the special occasions

Ensure you have marked your calendar with birthdays, school annual functions, and competitions. Surprise them with special gifts or cookies in a package. Send money to them, with a message so they can choose their own gift.

Holiday time -quality time

Invite them to visit you overseas during their vacations and arrange for their tickets as well. They would be really grateful and excited about this opportunity to travel and if they are doing so on their own, then they would love the idea of being independent. They are likely to be touched by this gesture and will appreciate the fact that you want to share your living space with them. While they are with you, take a few days off, to spend some quality time with them. If you need to be in the office, then get them a loaded international prepaid travel card so that they can perhaps visit the tourist attractions.

Remind them you’re proud of them

It’s tough being a teenager. It’s a time when peer groups are very important and very influential. They might find it difficult to cope with all these changes and pressures, while their parent is far away. Every now and then, make a note of remind them that you’re proud of them. This will simply boost their confidence and help them face their own struggles and challenges.

No doubt, it is very tricky to handle your teenager’s life from a distance; but it need not be too worrying. Advances in technology have driven down the cost of communicating and travelling to such an extent that you are really not that far. Be understanding, caring and connected.

By: Ranbir

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